A Not-So-Small Intro

So here I am, the owner of yet another blog.

Oh yes, I've traveled this well beaten path many a time, sometimes for the purpose of writing, sharing stories about my kids and my husband... but primarily with recipes and DIY projects to inspire the masses to get in touch with their inner Martha Stewarts (pre-jail, younger, intimidatingly talented Martha, of course.)

The last time I took a stab at blogging, it was with a page called The Soul Barer... and I LOVED it, every post. I posted often, and I loved not only making new friends through blogging, but having a reason to make a plethora of delicious and creative new recipes and projects that constantly kept me on my toes. However, as I blogged, I ate my way to a solid 350 (or maybe more) pounds of loving, comedic, motherly flab.

This is me on the far right... and no. I didn't get stung by a bee that day. That was all me.

This was taken shortly before I realized everything hurt because I was fat, not because I was getting old.

In September of 2012, I decided one day I was done being that person. It was instantaneous... Like that quote from Life as a House...George Monroe tells his son, "You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant. It happened to me."  Well, George... it happened to me too.

By Christmas I was at 305. By Valentine's Day I was at 275. By Easter, 256. That's almost 100 pounds, folks. I worked hard, but the strength was so much more mental than physical. I'm still not sure what it was that drove me, but nothing phased me during that period. When I had unhealthy meals, I remained in control of my moderation, and I worked out constantly.

I loved myself, despite still having another 75 pounds to lose (I'm 6'0 and happy with a little booty to shake so my goals aren't waifish by any means.) I loved my hair, wearing makeup, dressing up, shopping for clothes, cooking healthy meals, the whole thing. Loved.

Somewhere along the way, I think around July or August of 2013, I lost that motivation piece by piece. By November I was back up to 280, and after starting a completely sedentary new job in January of 2014, I skyrocketed up to 310 in no time. I band wagoned it for a while, back and forth between 280 and 300... and I'm tired of doing that.

My husband and I. He also lost 90 pounds during that period. I was so proud of us.

I was an annoying selfie taker, because I liked noticing that I only had one chin even when I didn't take the picture from an intense upward angle.

One of my best moments, the first time I completed an obstacle run. I felt like I could do anything that day. It was also two days after getting the cast taken off my broken arm.

The stereotypical before and after. On the left, 350 or more. The right, 256. Plus 90 pounds of awesome photobombing to the right.

I miss writing. I miss blogging. And I also miss having a waist. So I'm going to take a stab at combining the two. I'll post updates... what works, what doesn't, shitty days when nothing happens, successful days when I feel like Heidi Klum (as opposed to looking like I just ATE Heidi Klum... massive difference, I've learned.) and hopefully I'll find it again... my waist, my peace, my comfort with who I am, and best of all, the strength that comes from feeling powerful inside yourself.

Wish me luck!